Tag Archives: good listener

Start Listening Deeply to Yourself, and Become Who You Truly Are!

Listen deeply and become who you truly are

Hand-drawn mandala, “Becoming Who You Are”

At 10:30 pm, you are about to go to bed, and yet, you are still thinking about what happened to you at work today.

Your boss criticized you for how you dealt with a problem.

You can think of millions of good reasons why you handled the situation in that way.

So, you are going over those reasons one by one in your head under the blanket.

Then, when you run out of the reasons, you start to going over the things that you should’ve explained to your boss.

You take a look at the clock.  It says 11:38 pm.  Sigh…  “I gotta sleep!”

The next moment, your head is already going over the thing that happened at work for the 13th times.

Complaining

I found this Huffington Post article (Read the full post) written by Dr. Travis Bradberry about what complaining does to our brain through Dr. Joe Dispenza’s post on Facebook (Yes, I’m so into his study!  If you are interested, please visit his website: ).

According to this article, on average, we complain once every 5 minutes.  When I read that, I thought to myself, “Really?  I don’t complain that mu…., wait.  I DO complain that much!!”

When a car cuts me off, when my phone is slow, when the line at the cashier is long and slow, when it’s cold, when it’s raining…

The article also explains how complaining damages our health.

A repetitive feeling creates a pathway in our brain because our brain likes its efficiency.  As we use that pathway by having the similar feeling over and over, we reinforce that pathway.

That means complaining a lot reinforces the complaining pathway in our brain.

Complaining, or I should say, repetitive negative feelings make our fight/flight system in the brain more active.  Also, they make the hippocampus, which is mainly in charge of our long-term memory, contracted.  Basically, by complaining a lot, we make ourselves more exhausted and more prone to Alzheimer’s when we get old.

Listening Deeply to the Layers of Feelings

“At the center of your being
you have the answer;
you know who you are
and you know what you want.” – Lao Tsu

Having feelings is a natural thing.  We are here on Earth in our physical bodies to experience everything, so there is no problem to feel emotions.

When we start to attach to some of them, they become issues, and when we keep attaching to them, they become negative patterns and start to affect our lives in many ways.

Then, what can we do about it?

I recommend listening deeply into the layers of the feelings.  It takes some practice at the beginning, but it will get easier soon.

Here is how you do it.

  1. Take a few good deep breaths.  Breathing consciously helps our mind slow down and also helps us stay grounded and present.  We can create a change only when we are solidly grounded here and now, NOT by hanging onto the past or worrying about the future.
  2. Label the feeling what kind of emotion it is.  It helps us feel the feeling objectively.
  3. Ask yourself whether the emotion is familiar to you or not.  As the phrase ‘someone pushes my buttons’ describes, once we are an adult, our emotional patterns are pretty much set.  We all have some emotional buttons.  So, ask yourself whether you are experiencing the emotion because of one of those buttons.
  4. Ask yourself where (or from whom) and when you inherited that emotional patterns.  Usually, the patterns that we have were inherited from the people around us when we were kids.  Or, because of traumatic events, we created those patterns as our defense mechanisms.  Understanding how we end up having those patterns helps us let them go with more ease and grace.
  5. Feel that emotion out until something lighter and more loving feeling emanates.  This sounds like it’s going to take a long time, but no worries.  Once you can feel the emotion objectively without stories circling in your head, it takes only some moments – probably a couple of breaths.  You will notice the lighter and more loving feelings coming closer to you.  That is your compassion and love coming to the surface from the deeper layers within you.
  6. Send the compassion and love to the patterns and the people who gave them to you and let the patterns go.  Once you fill your heart with that loving feeling, just allow the Greater Source to take them away and recycle them for the highest good of all.
  7. Think of who you really want to be and visualize it as clearly as possible.  By visualizing who you truly are as clearly as possible, you are rewiring your brain.  So, try to imagine how you would behave, how you would interact with people, and how you would think when you become a new you without those emotional patterns.  This is the part of designing new you.
  8. Take some moments to allow the Greater Source to reprogram you.  The Greater Source, the Divine, the Universe, the Quantum Field…, whatever you call it, allow the divine essence to reprogram you.  This is the part I like the best.  To me, it feels that I am just floating in the vast space while all the downloads and reprogramming are happening on the subtlest level.  Sometimes, I get messages or guidance as well.
  9. Keep practicing it.  The more you practice, the more you reconnect to your true self and the Greater Power.  You will start noticing other patterns more easily, realigning them with your highest good, and living your life more fully.

“Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear?” – Lao Tsu, Tao Te Ching

Conclusion

Listening is a great tool to know where you are right now.  If you hear yourself complaining in your head about what already happened, then you are living your past.

If you hear yourself being anxious about tomorrow, then you are living your future.

When you notice it, take a deep breath, bring yourself back to this moment, and start listening deeply into the layers of the feelings.

You already have all the answers and support you need within.  Listening deeply allows you to connect to them.

Dive into yourself, and start creating your heaven on Earth!

Over to you:-

Please share your insights and your experiences in the comment section!

P.S.

Mandala Blow-Out Sale” is on until the end of February 2017.

Also, the registration for “6-Week Life Artisan Program” is open.

P.P.S.

The new mandala, “Creating My Heaven on Earth,” in progress.

The flower of life

“The flower of life” has started to bloom!

 

8 Wise Choices that Help You Become Unstoppable

~From Survival Mode to More Fulfillment and Success~

Become unstoppable.

Be in charge of your own life!

On Monday morning.  As soon as you wake up, you start to think of things on your to-do list to get through another week, and your body sinks into the bed so heavily and deeply.

Loads of work on the desk, bills to pay, a family to feed …, and you take a big sigh.

You don’t want to get out of the bed where you feel like is a safe cocoon or nest.  Once you get out of the safe zone, you know you will have to juggle all kinds of tasks and grind each and every moment just to survive the week.

You feel trapped in this survival mode and start to wonder when things in your life will get better, where you left the joy and excitement and why this is happening to you.

Exactly.  WHY?

“Causes” of the Survival Mode

Though there might be other causes, I think these three emotions can affect you most (they sure did to me):

FEAR of being in the body

Have you ever blindsided by traumatic experiences like a birth with complications, accidents, diseases, physical abuses or surgeries?  Those physically painful experiences get stored in the body unless they get treated properly, and whenever you are in a stressful situation, the memories of them get triggered either consciously or unconsciously and trap you in a survival mode.

FEAR of being in the world

Though you didn’t get harmed physically, have you ever had any experiences like being at or involved a crime scene, growing up in an emotionally and mentally abusive environment or being embarrassed in front of many people, especially in your childhood?  Those experiences can create defensive behavioral patterns and false belief systems.

RAGE or DISAPPOINTMENT in the world or the Universe

Once those fear get anchored in you, everything you try in order to make things better seems to fail over and over, and you start to have rage against or disappointment in the world and the Universe.

“Symptoms” of the Survival Mode

These may sound a little harsh, but I believe we all have experienced these symptoms on some levels.

– Being STUCK

Even though you work so hard to make things better for you by changing your jobs, places to live or your relationships, Life keeps throwing surprises, detours and walls at you, and you keep finding yourself in the same position repeatedly.

PROCRASTINATION

You are so diligent on daily small tasks, but that diligence is actually distracting you from focusing on your life path. You allow everyday chores to make you believe that you don’t have time to follow your heart desires or you can’t find your own passions.

VICTIMIZATION

Sometimes, analyzing your patterns or your past can play tricks on you.  After looking back into your past, you understand that your painful experiences created a defensive pattern.  Instead of facing the pattern and the fear, you use the experiences as excuses and give away your own responsibility and power to heal the wound that you experienced.

– LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Because of repetitive “failures” and embarrassment, you start to become too concerned about what other people think about you, which ends up having a hard time to find worth, gifts, and faith in you.

Now, you must be wondering how you get out of this endless, painful and boring cycle and start to live a more fulfilled life.  The answer to that question is that you start to make these 8 wise choices below.  It takes practice after practice, but the more you practice, the closer you get to the core and the freer you become.

8 Wise Choices

1. Choose to become a good listener to your body.

Like I said before, all the painful memories from the traumatic experiences get stored in the body in layers unless they get treated properly.  So, pay attention to the signals that your body give to you.  Signals can be a pain, digestive issues, injuries, cold or any kind of ‘dis-eases’ and emotions.  Once you notice the signals, listen to them very carefully and nurture them before they get worse.

2. Choose to slow down until you find your own voice.

“Do you have the patience to wait until your mind settles and the water is clear?”  by Lao Tsu

When you feel overwhelmed, or when your monkey mind gets chatty and you start to worry and feel a lot of pressure, slow down, have a quiet moment and ask yourself who is talking right now until you find your own voice.  As you align yourself with your-own-self, not with what other people think of you or what your culture taught you, the stillness within you will tell you exactly what to do.

3. Choose to change your perception about your past.

Everything that happened to you in the past happened for you to learn from them.  Even those traumatic experiences or even those mean words said to you by the classmates are the opportunities for you to learn and evolve.  If you still have emotions about those experiences, feel them out, forgive yourself and the others and move on.

4. Choose to learn from mistakes.

We all know everybody makes mistakes.  We all know a failure is just a stepping stone to your success, and yet, the belief that making mistakes and failing are bad things is ingrained deeply within us.  So, I will say this to you again, “failures” are just parts of the journey to your biggest goal in your life.  When you make a mistake, learn from it, adjust your course and keep going instead of beating yourself up.  Remember you are not alone.

5. Choose to welcome whatever is coming in your way.

Everything that’s happening to you is happening for you to learn and evolve.  Watch mindfully your reactions to things happening around you.  If a crazy driver cuts you off and you get mad at the driver, welcome and accept the anger fully, say to the driver “May you be blessed” and let it go.  You don’t want to get attached to the incident by holding onto the anger for the rest of the day.

6. Choose to forgive the world.

You see violence, unfairness, and stupidity that we, the human beings, create every day on the news.  Or, the thing that you are passionate about, that is fully aligned with your heart desire keeps failing because of the current system of the world.  That surely makes you (and me!) really mad at the world.  Again, allow yourself to feel out the rage and forgive the world.  Forgiveness helps you to rise above the challenges and the collective consciousness.

7. Choose to make your own decisions.

Always remember to ask yourself what YOU really want.  You can say “No” to whatever it is if that doesn’t go with your truth.  Stop worrying about what other people think about you and stick to what your truth wants.  Keep your higher vibration no matter what!

8. Choose to love yourself fully and become unstoppable.

In any situations, accept and love yourself fully.  Even when you are on an intense emotional roller coaster ride, accept the emotions and love yourself like you’ve never loved.  Invite your power and essence into every breath you take, every cell of your body and every spec of energy in your wholeness, and allow your power and essence to attract every support you need to become unstoppable.

“Greatness is achieved when you recognize your own strength.  You become unstoppable!  Nothing can prevent you from breaking free and claiming the victory.” by Amaka Imani Nkosazana, Sweet Destiny

Are you ready to become unstoppable?

Let’s go back to the scene at the beginning and see what can happen by implementing the 8 wise choices.

On Monday morning, as soon as you wake up, you start to think about your to-do list for another week.

It IS a long list like before, but you have so much energy because you know how to deal with the stress and emotions and how to make your own decisions, and also because you have more clarity and support.

You can finish your everyday tasks in shorter time and still have more energy.  So, you start to research on online courses in your extra time for what you really want to do.

See?  You are already getting out of the survival mode and starting to live a more fulfilled life.

The more you practice those choices, the more energy and time become available to you, and the more deeply you can commit yourself to living in the world that you want.

Over to you-

Have you ever felt you are in a survival mode?  What was your experience like?  How did you get out of the mode?  Please share your great insights in the comment below.