Tag Archives: spiritual practice

Do You Know How to Receive Love?

my hand-drawn mandala, "Oneness" Realizing Oneness helps you receive love more easily.

One of my mandalas, “Oneness”

Has anyone ever told you that you don’t receive love?  Or, since someone DID tell you that you are not receiving love, you have been struggling to figure out how to receive it?

I was told that I wasn’t receiving love years ago.  Since then, I tried to receive it on every occasion.  When someone gives me a hug, when someone thanks me, or gives me a compliment…  I tried to “receive” it without dismissing them by saying like “Oh, thank YOU!” or “Oh, it’s nothing.”

I also tried to open up my left/feminine side so I could receive more and get nurtured more.

Did they work?  No.  They made me more nervous about receiving love.  However, it was a great opportunity to find out why I am not good at receiving.

The Reasons Why I’m NOT Good at Receiving Love

My birth experience

During my birth, I got stuck in the birth canal.  I still remember the dream about my birth that I used to have repeatedly until I was 3 or 4 years old.

The dream always started with me in a fetus position in an amazingly comfortable space.  As I started to crawl forward, the comfortable space got narrower.  At one point, I couldn’t move either forward or backward and got stuck completely.  That felt so frustrating that I wanted to scream, but I always woke up at that moment.

The actual birth went like this.  I was a little bigger baby than average.  I got stuck in the birth canal for a little while, so the doctor used anesthesia.  Then, I was born with jaundice.  I’m assuming all the frustration I felt went into the gallbladder and the liver which resulted as jaundice.

Because of jaundice, I got separated from my mother immediately and put in an incubator.  I didn’t get to have a proper bonding with my mother.

On top of that, when my mother was ready to go home, I got a cold and had to stay at the hospital by myself a little longer.

Basically, I missed the important opportunity to learn how to receive love right from the get-go of my life.

Patterns in my family

My family wasn’t a happy, ideal one.  My father was a very strict person, especially on my elder sister.  Whenever my sister created a problem, my father tried to discipline her by hitting her with a rolled-up newspaper, making her stand outside for an hour, putting her in a closet, and so on.

At that time in Japan, those things were believed as a part of discipline.  However, in my family, they happened so often that  I got scared whenever I saw or heard my sister get scolded by my father.  That fear ingrained into my subconscious level so strongly that I became vigilant in any changes of people’s mood.

That led me to become a good kid to make everything go smoothly and peacefully by doing the right things.  I was quiet whenever I needed to be quiet.  I never had any tantrums.  Basically, I tried to give love to everyone around me without receiving any from anyone around me.  I was always good and fine.

All the adults around me believed I was good and fine.  Even I started to believe it even though it started as my defense mechanism.

More incidents that enforced the pattern

When I was 5 years old, my mother died of a breast cancer.  Even though I didn’t understand what death meant, I’m sure that it shut down almost completely whatever the ability to receive LOVE I had.

One year later, my first step mother left us all of a sudden.  There was no explanation what was going on between her and my father and why she decided to leave us.

It is said that your character and patterns in your life are set during the first 6 to 7 years of your life.

By the time I became 7 years old, all of my ability to receive love was berried in a deep and dark place within me.  I became not only good and fine but tough and different from other kids.

The ultimate experience of true love

As you can imagine, my adolescence was full of emotional roller coasters which were buried deep within me.  I kept the “good and fine” appearance.

When I turned to 18, I met a spiritual teacher, Master Dolores Hand.  She was such a powerful, amazing teacher.  She taught us from the simplest thing like how to keep our space clean so we can keep good energy in our living space to the amazing cosmic myths.  Her love was so powerful that I always felt completely safe when I was around her.  That was such a huge joy and relief, because I had never felt safe in my own space, my own body, and in this world till then.

I also felt that there was nothing I couldn’t do because her faith in us was beyond my imagination.  She had a 5-day retreat at Mt. Shasta every summer.  I got to join the last three of them, and at the end of every retreat, I felt so ready and confident that I could tackle any issues in my life.  I was so looking forward to going back to my life.

Mt. Shasta

Mt. Shasta

She passed away 20 years ago, but she is still with us and holding us in her tremendously huge love.  I am so grateful that I could have time to be with her and experience her love and faith.

Then, the real spiritual practice had begun…

Master Dolores said that her teaching was done and we all graduated at the end of the last retreat.  Since then, we were on our own.

She gave us all of the teachings she could give us.  So, it was time for us to practice one by one until we actually got it.  Every little thing in my life gave me a reminder of what she taught us.  As I was walking down on my path, my spiritual zigsaw puzzle had started to give me a bigger picture piece by piece.  It was like I was expanding my soul map.

I started to see my true self and false self more clearly.  I released lots of old emotions.  I went through countless forgiveness.  I had many epiphanies as well.  And yet, I was still bad at receiving love.  Until one day, that Aha! moment happened to me.

What Aha! moment showed me…

It was a normal weekday.  I was working.  All of a sudden, a thought came to me, and I realized that I was doing it completely wrong.  All I needed to do was to relax completely.  Then, I would be able to reconnect to the Oneness and become love itself.  It wasn’t about receiving or giving.  It wasn’t about opening up my chakras or feminine side.  It was about relaxing myself completely and remember where I was originated from.

The love holds us, connects us, and exist within and around us.  We are love, and we are one.

From that point of view, forgiveness happens naturally like breathing, you can get unstuck from the old patterns and start creating your heaven on Earth.

That moment of clarity was amazingly powerful, but as you probably know, that kind of moment never lasts until you actually get it down.  So, I’m still on an emotional roller coaster from time to time.  However, now I know what to do.   So, practice, practice, and practice…  A spiritual path never ends, right?

my hand-drawn mandala, "Creating My Heaven on Earth"

“Creating My Heaven on Earth” ~When you start to receiving love, you get to create Your Heaven on Earth more easily.~

Your turn:-

Thank you so much for reading this far.  I hope you enjoyed the post.  Now, it’s your turn.  Please share your experiences about receiving love, or what you thought about this post in the comment section.  And, don’t forget to share this post with your friends and subscribe.

 

 

Start Listening Deeply to Yourself, and Become Who You Truly Are!

Listen deeply and become who you truly are

Hand-drawn mandala, “Becoming Who You Are”

At 10:30 pm, you are about to go to bed, and yet, you are still thinking about what happened to you at work today.

Your boss criticized you for how you dealt with a problem.

You can think of millions of good reasons why you handled the situation in that way.

So, you are going over those reasons one by one in your head under the blanket.

Then, when you run out of the reasons, you start to going over the things that you should’ve explained to your boss.

You take a look at the clock.  It says 11:38 pm.  Sigh…  “I gotta sleep!”

The next moment, your head is already going over the thing that happened at work for the 13th times.

Complaining

I found this Huffington Post article (Read the full post) written by Dr. Travis Bradberry about what complaining does to our brain through Dr. Joe Dispenza’s post on Facebook (Yes, I’m so into his study!  If you are interested, please visit his website: ).

According to this article, on average, we complain once every 5 minutes.  When I read that, I thought to myself, “Really?  I don’t complain that mu…., wait.  I DO complain that much!!”

When a car cuts me off, when my phone is slow, when the line at the cashier is long and slow, when it’s cold, when it’s raining…

The article also explains how complaining damages our health.

A repetitive feeling creates a pathway in our brain because our brain likes its efficiency.  As we use that pathway by having the similar feeling over and over, we reinforce that pathway.

That means complaining a lot reinforces the complaining pathway in our brain.

Complaining, or I should say, repetitive negative feelings make our fight/flight system in the brain more active.  Also, they make the hippocampus, which is mainly in charge of our long-term memory, contracted.  Basically, by complaining a lot, we make ourselves more exhausted and more prone to Alzheimer’s when we get old.

Listening Deeply to the Layers of Feelings

“At the center of your being
you have the answer;
you know who you are
and you know what you want.” – Lao Tsu

Having feelings is a natural thing.  We are here on Earth in our physical bodies to experience everything, so there is no problem to feel emotions.

When we start to attach to some of them, they become issues, and when we keep attaching to them, they become negative patterns and start to affect our lives in many ways.

Then, what can we do about it?

I recommend listening deeply into the layers of the feelings.  It takes some practice at the beginning, but it will get easier soon.

Here is how you do it.

  1. Take a few good deep breaths.  Breathing consciously helps our mind slow down and also helps us stay grounded and present.  We can create a change only when we are solidly grounded here and now, NOT by hanging onto the past or worrying about the future.
  2. Label the feeling what kind of emotion it is.  It helps us feel the feeling objectively.
  3. Ask yourself whether the emotion is familiar to you or not.  As the phrase ‘someone pushes my buttons’ describes, once we are an adult, our emotional patterns are pretty much set.  We all have some emotional buttons.  So, ask yourself whether you are experiencing the emotion because of one of those buttons.
  4. Ask yourself where (or from whom) and when you inherited that emotional patterns.  Usually, the patterns that we have were inherited from the people around us when we were kids.  Or, because of traumatic events, we created those patterns as our defense mechanisms.  Understanding how we end up having those patterns helps us let them go with more ease and grace.
  5. Feel that emotion out until something lighter and more loving feeling emanates.  This sounds like it’s going to take a long time, but no worries.  Once you can feel the emotion objectively without stories circling in your head, it takes only some moments – probably a couple of breaths.  You will notice the lighter and more loving feelings coming closer to you.  That is your compassion and love coming to the surface from the deeper layers within you.
  6. Send the compassion and love to the patterns and the people who gave them to you and let the patterns go.  Once you fill your heart with that loving feeling, just allow the Greater Source to take them away and recycle them for the highest good of all.
  7. Think of who you really want to be and visualize it as clearly as possible.  By visualizing who you truly are as clearly as possible, you are rewiring your brain.  So, try to imagine how you would behave, how you would interact with people, and how you would think when you become a new you without those emotional patterns.  This is the part of designing new you.
  8. Take some moments to allow the Greater Source to reprogram you.  The Greater Source, the Divine, the Universe, the Quantum Field…, whatever you call it, allow the divine essence to reprogram you.  This is the part I like the best.  To me, it feels that I am just floating in the vast space while all the downloads and reprogramming are happening on the subtlest level.  Sometimes, I get messages or guidance as well.
  9. Keep practicing it.  The more you practice, the more you reconnect to your true self and the Greater Power.  You will start noticing other patterns more easily, realigning them with your highest good, and living your life more fully.

“Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear?” – Lao Tsu, Tao Te Ching

Conclusion

Listening is a great tool to know where you are right now.  If you hear yourself complaining in your head about what already happened, then you are living your past.

If you hear yourself being anxious about tomorrow, then you are living your future.

When you notice it, take a deep breath, bring yourself back to this moment, and start listening deeply into the layers of the feelings.

You already have all the answers and support you need within.  Listening deeply allows you to connect to them.

Dive into yourself, and start creating your heaven on Earth!

Over to you:-

Please share your insights and your experiences in the comment section!

P.S.

Mandala Blow-Out Sale” is on until the end of February 2017.

Also, the registration for “6-Week Life Artisan Program” is open.

P.P.S.

The new mandala, “Creating My Heaven on Earth,” in progress.

The flower of life

“The flower of life” has started to bloom!